whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
