Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
