so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
