I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
