My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
