My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
