i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
