How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
