Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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