his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
