And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
