I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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