Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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