Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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