What did we do last night that was yellow?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
