I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
