The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize