Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
