I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
