Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
