You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
