i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
