How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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