If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
