i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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