This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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