Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Buhtt sex?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
please don't ironically join a cult
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