If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
