Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
