Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
