I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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