Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
