We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
