yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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