Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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