To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
