I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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