perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We have started to decorate penises.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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