Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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