That's intense
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
