woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
