i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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