Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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