Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it's great music for shaving your balls
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You took a bar mat shot.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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