My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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