He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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