Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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