The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i don't like sucking hair
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
