Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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