guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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