I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
