I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
