I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
