Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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