Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
