and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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