Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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