did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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