never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
this is an emotional support booty call
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize