Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

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(904): View more from Florida

There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?

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(703): View more from Virginia

you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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(516): View more from New York

The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(303): View more from Colorado

nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

(1-303): View more from Colorado

he is risen halelujah

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(714): View more from California

todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.

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(+61): View more from Australia

He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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(757): View more from Virginia

So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.

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