He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
