thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
