@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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