Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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