I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
