I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
