Just mADE A PArabola og urine
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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