Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
