I just made out with a guy for $7.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
