1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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