Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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