I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
