I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
